How to get rid of sexual desires in absence of a partner?
Before getting into this, we need to understand that everything has a reason. You
cannot get rid of that which is given by God. If a person has sexual desires and
has an opportunity to form a relationship with a partner, then this will be used
for person’s development. If there is sexual desire but no partner, then this is
meant for another form of person’s development. In any case, it is important to
be in state of observer and never succumb to negative emotions.
In a sense, this is a test for a person.
When a person is well-balanced, then this energy will become noticeable, in
which case a person might choose to simply observe its flow or work with it
directly. Otherwise, when a person is out of balance, such energy will reinforce
this state of being, which is very similar to the effect of astrological aspects.
On sexual desire…
Sexual desire is a natural. It is inherent to animals, who don’t give much thought
to whether a mate is near or far, or what to do about a mate – anything that
happens is bound to happen naturally. If an opportunity presents itself, animals
Should we be like animals? God gave us the mind. In case of humans, the
idea should be the same, but the mind has already been under influence and
conditioned for time immemorial. By nature, humans should behave in similar
fashion with an addition of using the mind; however, it is usually the mind that
uses a person. Purpose of the mind is to help a person be able to identify goals
for a relationship and assess which relationship would be best. Yet, only highly
evolved individuals are capable of utilizing the mind when working with sexual
energy. It is very difficult to do, because anything originating from the mind is
impure, and only in presence of very fine energy can sexuality flow through the
divine channel and receive divine blessing. This will have the mind function in
the correct manner.
Is tantra the way? Can we gain control over sexual energy?
Do we need to do it, or should we simply accept the situation?
Tantra is the way, but it is largely misunderstood.
You might think that you control sexual energy, but in the deepest sense this
is impossible. In presence of sexual energy, you can exert control over parts of
the body inside, but its flow is really beyond your control. You don’t need to do
anything about it – all you can do is study its flow and its effects. Remember at
all times that this energy is not really yours; it is part of the divine flow. People
should always appreciate this, yet many people don’t exhibit the due respect,
which causes all kind of problems on physical, emotional and mental levels.
Sexuality is always inherent. Sometimes it accumulates or stimulates a particular
area of the body, leading to many different ways to express it. This is an
opportunity, a chance to achieve something.
What matters is not so much what you do with this energy but rather how you
feel afterwards or whether it helps you better understand the meaning of life.
Otherwise, it starts serving as a distraction or even impediment in life.
So, first of all, we need to acknowledge that sexual desire is a natural
phenomenon. Secondly, we must understand that this energy is divine.
Thirdly, we need to learn to utilize it in a way that will not cause us any
problems. Otherwise, it will bother and destroy us. Right?
Yes, more or less. Of course, not all people will understand this in exactly the
Regarding the third statement… When you observe that sexual energy is
activating some problem area in your life, the important part is not to express
this energy but to direct it to work on this block. This could be a divine sign.
For example, a person falls into depression. When sexual energy accumulates,
he feels something like sadness or self-pity. In this situation, instead of having
thoughts about sex, the person should work through his depressive state. As the
person achieves the balance, there is greater likelihood that God will provide
an opportunity for a sexual encounter, which stimulates growth. And when it
comes to spiritual beings, God can’t allow for destructive elements to take hold
of a person. Of course, a number of social people contain many destructive parts
yet have many chances for sexual encounters. But this is another discussion
altogether… This is related more to their karma. And I am now discussing
spiritual people with raised self-awareness.
When a person undergoes therapy and speaks about the sexual fantasies, at
which point the energy starts moving, or when partners share their fantasies
with each other, do these situations lead to liberation and allow energy to
Not exactly liberation… This allows a person to become aware of different parts
of being and how to use them. If sexual partners choose to be showing them to
each other, then they could achieve heightened and more meaningful sexual
experience that will lead to greater sense of unity and less lying to each other.
Why does god bring partners to some people and not to others, which leads
the latter to suffering?
Each person’s perception is different. For some people, it is more important to
have a partner rather than feeling God; while for some other people, feeling God
is the priority, and after achieving this, God will give them partners or many
other things, regardless of what they are exactly.